Avan Jogia wants to show you his guts.
The actor-filmmaker香蕉视频直播檚 second poetry collection, 香蕉视频直播淎utopsy (of an ex-teen heartthrob)香蕉视频直播�, is a retrospective of the years he starred on the Nickelodeon show 香蕉视频直播淰ictorious香蕉视频直播� and the particular brand of fame it earned him in the early 2010s.
Compiling the book, Jogia said, sent him through the archives of his daily writing practice, selecting poems from when the show香蕉视频直播� which also starred the likes of Ariana Grande and Victoria Justice 香蕉视频直播攚as on the air, and others written more recently with the benefit of hindsight.
香蕉视频直播淟ooking back at those poems, I was sort of taken aback at how similar our voices are, despite there being a little bit more teenage rage,香蕉视频直播� he said of his 17-year-old self.
香蕉视频直播淏ut I don香蕉视频直播檛 know if it香蕉视频直播檚 that dissimilar from the rage I experience today.香蕉视频直播�
The Vancouver native played Beck, the popular hunk, on 香蕉视频直播淰ictorious,香蕉视频直播� which ran from 2010 to 2013 and landed him in the pages of J-14, Tiger Beat and a nascent Just Jared Jr. right as he was reaching adulthood.
Beneath the squeaky clean, slime green veneer imposed on him by Nickelodeon, there was the grittier reality of being 20 years old, making his own money and living alone in Los Angeles.
His poems, then, are meant to serve as what he calls an 香蕉视频直播渁utopsia香蕉视频直播� 香蕉视频直播� a self-autopsy in which he peels back the glossy layer to cut open his chest and reveal the grit.
He writes of the drug-fuelled parties he attended and the hungover photoshoots that followed; of friendships and acquaintanceships with those more famous and tortured than he; of the fear he had nothing to live for; and of the feeling of sitting at the kids香蕉视频直播� table as an adult.
He also writes of the way people treat him now 香蕉视频直播� as a sort of vestige of their youth, though he continues to work both behind and in front of the camera. He directed the 2023 film 香蕉视频直播淒oor Mouse香蕉视频直播� and is due to star opposite Dove Cameron in the Prime Video series 香蕉视频直播淥bsession.香蕉视频直播�
But when people look at him and see their childhood, it puts him in a strange position, he said, in part because he香蕉视频直播檚 not a fan of nostalgia.
香蕉视频直播淚 think nostalgia is a sedative,香蕉视频直播� he said. 香蕉视频直播淚 think of it as a drug, and we turn to it because tomorrow is so terrifying. We cannibalize our past because we香蕉视频直播檙e scared of what香蕉视频直播檚 in our future.香蕉视频直播�
In general, he said, he香蕉视频直播檚 not somebody who looks back very much 香蕉视频直播� with the exception of his books. His first, 香蕉视频直播淢ixed Feelings: Poems and Stories,香蕉视频直播� published in 2019, was a multimedia exploration of race, identity and family.
Generally, though, he said he香蕉视频直播檚 more likely to look forward and think about what香蕉视频直播檚 next.
香蕉视频直播淲hen people look to me to get a feeling of nostalgia 香蕉视频直播� I wish I could be the thing that they want me to be,香蕉视频直播� he said. 香蕉视频直播淚 wish I could satisfy the moment they香蕉视频直播檙e trying to have, but so much has happened to me since then 香蕉视频直播� 15 years of life 香蕉视频直播� so I think it香蕉视频直播檚 hard for me to meet them where they left me.香蕉视频直播�
That香蕉视频直播檚 not necessarily a bad thing, he said. Now 33, he香蕉视频直播檚 grown a lot since he was first on TV.
香蕉视频直播淚 think my life has gotten better and better and better, and more rich and more full and artistically satisfying,香蕉视频直播� he said.
香蕉视频直播淢y interior life 香蕉视频直播� my soul life 香蕉视频直播� has gotten so much better. Obviously, the world around us has gotten香蕉视频直播orse.香蕉视频直播�
