Even months later, the pain of losing a pet can still hit without warning.
The trigger might be noticing 香蕉视频直播� again, for the umpteenth time 香蕉视频直播� how empty the house feels since your cat died, without the pitter-patter of padded paws. Or stumbling across the leash of the dog you lost and remembering how it used to set off tail-wagging glee.
Grieving owners can feel doubly lonesome if the humans in their lives don香蕉视频直播檛 quite know how to help, perhaps because they香蕉视频直播檝e not themselves or feel awkward around grief.
How can owners and their friends with pet bereavement? Experts in pet loss offer these ideas:
Recognize that feeling awful is normal
For some grieving owners, pet loss can feel worse than a human death. That doesn香蕉视频直播檛 make them monsters. Instead, it reflects the potential depths of human-animal bonds.
For some people, a pet is their most important relationship, 香蕉视频直播渢he being that they see every single day, that maybe sleeps on their bed, that they cuddle with on the couch,香蕉视频直播� says E.B. Bartels, author of 香蕉视频直播� .香蕉视频直播�
香蕉视频直播淭here are people who feel more comfortable with animals than with people,香蕉视频直播� she adds. 香蕉视频直播淪o losing those relationships can be really, really difficult.香蕉视频直播�
Offer a sympathetic ear
People who haven香蕉视频直播檛 experienced pet love may struggle to understand what it香蕉视频直播檚 like to lose it. They may think they are being helpful by saying, 香蕉视频直播淚t was just an animal,香蕉视频直播� or 香蕉视频直播淭hey were lucky to have such a loving owner.香蕉视频直播� But pat phrases, no matter how well-meaning, can make grieving owners clam up and feel alone.
香蕉视频直播淵ou feel like you can香蕉视频直播檛 talk about it because people aren香蕉视频直播檛 really empathizing,香蕉视频直播� says Annalisa de Carteret, who manages a telephone helpline and other pet-loss support services for Blue Cross, a U.K. animal welfare charity.
香蕉视频直播淛ust allow that person to talk about how they香蕉视频直播檙e feeling, and you don香蕉视频直播檛 need to comment,香蕉视频直播� she says.
Avoid clich茅s like, 香蕉视频直播溝憬妒悠抵辈Oh, you can get another pet香蕉视频直播� or 香蕉视频直播楬e had a good life, he was a good age,香蕉视频直播櫹憬妒悠抵辈 she says. For the owner, 香蕉视频直播渢hat doesn香蕉视频直播檛 make you feel any better, because you knew all of those things. You just feel sad and just want someone to listen and to understand.香蕉视频直播�
Bonds can run deep with any kind of animal
Another tip: Don香蕉视频直播檛 assume that an owner香蕉视频直播檚 grief is commensurate with the size or type of animal they lost, or the length of time they had them. The death of , can be as painful for some people as losing the cutest of fur balls for others.
香蕉视频直播淢y friend香蕉视频直播檚 dad has a koi pond and he loves these koi. And he was so upset when a raccoon got in and killed all his koi one summer,香蕉视频直播� Bartels says. 香蕉视频直播淪ome people would be like, 香蕉视频直播極h, they香蕉视频直播檙e just fish.香蕉视频直播� But he loved these fish, you know?香蕉视频直播�
She suggests that friends can offer practical help: A grieving owner who no longer has a four-legged reason to leave the house might appreciate the offer of a walk with a two-legged companion.
香蕉视频直播淧eople can really feel they lose their community,香蕉视频直播� Bartels says. 香蕉视频直播淚n the morning you get up, you bring your dog to the dog park and you get to know the group of people who are there every morning really well. And that香蕉视频直播檚 your social community. And so then if you lose your reason for going 香蕉视频直播� you香蕉视频直播檝e lost a lot more than just a dog.香蕉视频直播�
Guilt often compounds pet loss
Up to 30,000 people contact Blue Cross each year for . Many aren香蕉视频直播檛 simply sad but also are fearful that they may somehow have been responsible for their animal香蕉视频直播檚 death or disappearance, de Carteret says.
香蕉视频直播淕uilt is a really big part of pet loss,香蕉视频直播� she says.
香蕉视频直播淭hey maybe think, 香蕉视频直播極h, if I香蕉视频直播檇 done something differently, maybe they香蕉视频直播檇 have stayed alive a little bit longer,香蕉视频直播� or if they were stolen: 香蕉视频直播業f I didn香蕉视频直播檛 put them in the garden.香蕉视频直播� Or, 香蕉视频直播榃hat could I have done differently to change the inevitable?香蕉视频直播櫹憬妒悠抵辈
For bereaved owners who feel more upset about the loss of a pet than about a family member, that can trigger more guilt, de Carteret adds.
香蕉视频直播淚t香蕉视频直播檚 really normal,香蕉视频直播� she says. But 香蕉视频直播渋t feels wrong to say, doesn香蕉视频直播檛 it? And people don香蕉视频直播檛 want to share that.香蕉视频直播�
Can a new pet help ?
Possibly. But it香蕉视频直播檚 not a magic bullet. Each animal has its own personality and a new one won香蕉视频直播檛 necessarily fill the void left by another. And if your previous pet was full-grown, you may no longer have the patience for kittens香蕉视频直播� litters or puppy-training again.
Bottom line: Grieving can香蕉视频直播檛 be truncated. The sadness and memories can be lasting.
Bartels lost her dog, Seymour, last June.
香蕉视频直播淚香蕉视频直播檓 sure I香蕉视频直播檒l have a hard time again in June when it香蕉视频直播檚 the year anniversary of when we put him down,香蕉视频直播� she says.
De Carteret keeps her dog香蕉视频直播檚 ashes by her fireplace, which was his favorite place to sit.
香蕉视频直播淪ome people will think that香蕉视频直播檚 weird,香蕉视频直播� she says. 香蕉视频直播淏ut, you know, that香蕉视频直播檚 how I deal with it 香蕉视频直播� You have to find the right way for you.香蕉视频直播�
