The calendar year is full of difficult days for people who are grieving.

Anniversaries of a life lived.

Birthdays and death days.

Tuesdays.

Any reminder has potential for pain, which means any moment can become one of grief, explains Marney Thompson, director of bereavement services for Victoria Hospice.

香蕉视频直播淕rief itself is really a process of learning to live with, accommodating with what香蕉视频直播檚 happened,香蕉视频直播� she said. 香蕉视频直播淭here are all kinds of reminders that are painful for people."

Winter is filled with varied holidays 香蕉视频直播� solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day and New Years Eve 香蕉视频直播� that come with overarching narratives of wonder, magic and hope. They come with expectations based on traditions and rituals amplified when somebody香蕉视频直播檚 missing.

For people processing a recent loss, the start of a fresh new year isn香蕉视频直播檛 necessarily a wonderful prospect filled with goals and ideals. They may rather go into each day with a profound and lingering understanding their person won香蕉视频直播檛 be there with them.

Her tips for those facing grief in the traditional times of happiness range to what is best for them. She recommends trying something new, knowing changes aren香蕉视频直播檛 written in stone. 

During times of wider acknowledgement, such as Christmas, she recommends if people are comfortable, they talk within their family and friend groups to reflect on what this person and this holiday are about. Recognize or honour that person香蕉视频直播檚 favourite food, charity or song.

香蕉视频直播淲e often try to remind people doing it differently this year doesn香蕉视频直播檛 mean your traditions are lost forever,香蕉视频直播� Thompson said.

Depending on the situation, she encourages families to fill a stocking with memory notes, and read them at some point through the holidays. 

When her grandmother died, they set her place at the table for Christmas 香蕉视频直播� spurring spontaneous and emotional conversation and memory sharing. 香蕉视频直播淲e all cried through it. It was painful but it was a way to honour her.香蕉视频直播�

While facing a friend or loved one handling grief can be daunting, there香蕉视频直播檚 value in acknowledgement.

A survey conducted in November and December 2023 for the Canadian Grief Alliance, found 53 per cent of respondents felt their grief went largely unrecognized by others. In contrast, they overwhelmingly wanted to talk about it 香蕉视频直播� 83 per cent said being asked about their loss was helpful.

香蕉视频直播淭here are general and gentle enough words that invite people to show up if they choose to, to speak to how they香蕉视频直播檙e really doing,香蕉视频直播� Thompson said.

She香蕉视频直播檚 also part of the Canadian Grief Alliance where they suggest opening dialogue with something like 香蕉视频直播淚 know this is a difficult time of year for a lot of people, is there anything you want to talk about?香蕉视频直播�

The Alliance outlines easy ways to offer such as: 香蕉视频直播淵ou香蕉视频直播檙e welcome to join us for dinner if you香蕉视频直播檙e feeling up to it.香蕉视频直播� 

Support can be as easy as offering an ear, a walk or physically helping with tasks such as making a meal.

香蕉视频直播淵ou can see what the person brings forward and responds to that. It香蕉视频直播檚 really worthwhile to provide an invitation to speak to how it is,香蕉视频直播� Thompson said. 香蕉视频直播淵ou香蕉视频直播檙e just opening the door.香蕉视频直播�

Be ready to follow through on the offer, and just as much, be willing to accept a no, a brush-off or silence.

There is an appropriate way to address loss, and it doesn香蕉视频直播檛 include the words 香蕉视频直播渁t least they香蕉视频直播檙e in a better place.香蕉视频直播�

香蕉视频直播淓ven clients have said, 香蕉视频直播業f it starts with 香蕉视频直播榓t least香蕉视频直播� I don香蕉视频直播檛 want to hear it香蕉视频直播�,香蕉视频直播� Thompson said. 香蕉视频直播淚t香蕉视频直播檚 bright-siding their pain.香蕉视频直播�

While human nature compels many to fluff people up or fix them, grief isn香蕉视频直播檛 something to be repaired but rather integrated into lives.

香蕉视频直播淕rief itself is really a process of learning to live with, accommodating with, what香蕉视频直播檚 happened,香蕉视频直播� Thompson said. 香蕉视频直播淲e don香蕉视频直播檛 leave people in our past when they die.香蕉视频直播�

They continue to live in hearts and minds.

Victoria Hospice hosts several workshops with videos available online at . 

The Canadian Grief Alliance offers online resources at .