As bullets continue to fly in Surrey, one mom talks to the 香蕉视频直播�Now-Leader香蕉视频直播� 香蕉视频直播� under the condition of anonymity 香蕉视频直播� about what it was like to discover her son was in a gang. And, as a prevention program expands into elementary schools for the first time, the mother says parents must watch for signs to keep kids out of gangs 香蕉视频直播� and out of prison.

香蕉视频直播�-

A Surrey mom is speaking out in an effort to urge parents to pay attention so their child doesn香蕉视频直播檛 end up where hers did: In a gang, in prison, or in her son香蕉视频直播檚 case, both.

Cheryl, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, says she香蕉视频直播檒l never forget the moment she found out her son was in a gang.

She was sitting in a lawyer香蕉视频直播檚 office when she learned just how deeply involved he was 香蕉视频直播� and how violent he had become.

It香蕉视频直播檚 a moment that香蕉视频直播檚 burned into Cheryl香蕉视频直播檚 memory.

Her son had been in trouble with the law before, but the details she learned that day still haunt her.

香蕉视频直播淔or a long time, not even certain family members knew what was going on,香蕉视频直播� Cheryl said of her son香蕉视频直播檚 criminal background, a record which the Now-Leader has verified.

香蕉视频直播淲hen he was arrested and they charged him, it took me four months to even tell my mother.香蕉视频直播�

Her son has spent years in prison. People she knows have been killed. She香蕉视频直播檚 spent countless hours in a criminal lawyer香蕉视频直播檚 office, many more visiting her son in jail. Mounds of money has been spent on her son香蕉视频直播檚 lawyers. She was on stress leave from work for two years.

香蕉视频直播淲hen I look back at his life, I think, 香蕉视频直播榃ow, where the hell was I? The signs were there, but where was I?香蕉视频直播櫹憬妒悠抵辈�� she said. 香蕉视频直播淲hen you香蕉视频直播檙e parenting, your concern is food on the table, rent or mortgage paid, they香蕉视频直播檙e in school, doing well in school, you try to minimize the friends they have so they香蕉视频直播檙e not getting into the wrong space. I missed a few things in that process. I blamed a lot on myself. Now I know it was his age: Being that 12, 13, 14 age. The people he was hanging out with.

香蕉视频直播淵ou just have no control.香蕉视频直播�

Another memory Cheryl wishes she could erase from her memory was the look on a police officer香蕉视频直播檚 face after reading her son香蕉视频直播檚 rap sheet.

She was at the police station to file a report against her son, after he had threatened her over the phone from prison, said Cheryl.

香蕉视频直播淗e香蕉视频直播檚 looking at my son香蕉视频直播檚 file, and he香蕉视频直播檚 pulling up everything. I can香蕉视频直播檛 see it. But he just turned around, hit escape on his computer, and said, 香蕉视频直播楳y advice to you is to not have any more contact with your son. It香蕉视频直播檚 not safe. You need to walk away, for your safety and the rest of your family香蕉视频直播檚 safety.香蕉视频直播櫹憬妒悠抵辈��

Until that point, she hadn香蕉视频直播檛 realized just how entrenched her son had become.

香蕉视频直播淲hen you have a constable you香蕉视频直播檝e never met before and can say something like this to you, it香蕉视频直播檚 got to be pretty significant.香蕉视频直播�

But Cheryl admitted she knew long before that moment that she had lost her son.

香蕉视频直播淚 remember saying, 香蕉视频直播楤ut I香蕉视频直播檓 your mother.香蕉视频直播� He said, 香蕉视频直播楳om, this is my family.香蕉视频直播� He already identified with his friends as family. I was his mother but they香蕉视频直播檙e his family. And that is true to gang life.香蕉视频直播�

Know the signs, be involved

Cheryl said she wish she knew then, what she knows now.

香蕉视频直播淲hen raising a child, we don香蕉视频直播檛 look at them and think they香蕉视频直播檒l try to murder someone one day. Or join a gang香蕉视频直播�. Do you really know that child? I thought I knew my child. My kid was in prison. He could be a straight A student, could香蕉视频直播檝e done everything you asked him to, that doesn香蕉视频直播檛 mean he香蕉视频直播檚 not in a gang.香蕉视频直播�

She said every detail is important, from who their friends are to what their hobbies are to the way they dress.

香蕉视频直播淭he clothing, the chains, the rapping. What they watch on TV. People that they hang out with.香蕉视频直播�

Looking back at her son in those early years, she said 香蕉视频直播渋t was all starting.香蕉视频直播�

She was involved in her child香蕉视频直播檚 school, but urged parents to be as involved as possible. Cheryl also said it香蕉视频直播檚 important to be cognizant of disorders, like ADHD or Bipolar.

香蕉视频直播淧ay attention to the risk factors of it.香蕉视频直播�

Cheryl said it香蕉视频直播檚 also important to look for signs of antisocial behaviour, and how children deal with disappointment.

Plus, pay attention to anger.

香蕉视频直播淭he type of anger,香蕉视频直播� she said. 香蕉视频直播淭here香蕉视频直播檚 being angry at things that aren香蕉视频直播檛 fair being pissed off, then there香蕉视频直播檚 the rage anger. I didn香蕉视频直播檛 recognize it as that. I just recognized it as being angry with us.香蕉视频直播�

She said in her son香蕉视频直播檚 case, he only had a few friends, because he didn香蕉视频直播檛 trust anybody else.

香蕉视频直播淗e was more of a follower than a leader. I think he香蕉视频直播檒l always be that,香蕉视频直播� said Cheryl. 香蕉视频直播淪o watch for patterns of behaviour.

香蕉视频直播淪o here I am now, I have no contact with my son. I香蕉视频直播檝e lost some friends along the way. Gained some really good friends. I know where I香蕉视频直播檓 safe,香蕉视频直播� she remarked. 香蕉视频直播淚 still don香蕉视频直播檛 understand why my son did what he did. But it was his choice. And for me to realize that at the end, to think he was old enough to make that decision. He knew right from wrong.

香蕉视频直播淎 few times I thought about walking into a facility and saying, 香蕉视频直播楬elp me. I can香蕉视频直播檛 cope.香蕉视频直播櫹憬妒悠抵辈��

Elementary school intervention key

Cheryl says she is contemplating sharing her story with children in elementary schools, and their parents.

香蕉视频直播淭hey need to start addressing this when these kids are in elementary school. If they don香蕉视频直播檛香蕉视频直播�.香蕉视频直播� she said, her voice trailing off. 香蕉视频直播淵ou see it on the news, a 17-year-old was shot and killed. It香蕉视频直播檚 happening earlier and earlier.香蕉视频直播�

• See also:
• See also:

While it might be shocking to hear that 15-year-olds are involved in drugs and gangs, in reality it香蕉视频直播檚 happening even earlier than that, she said.

香蕉视频直播淚 think it would have probably helped my son,香蕉视频直播� she said of an early intervention program.

香蕉视频直播淚 was always involved in schools. Even though I was a working parent I was still involved in my kids香蕉视频直播� lives, because that香蕉视频直播檚 what I would do,香蕉视频直播� she said, 香蕉视频直播淚f this had come up in schools, I would have attended.

香蕉视频直播淚 would love to be able to take this and go and talk to kids in Grade 6 and 7 with their parents and say, 香蕉视频直播楾his is the time. You need to start.香蕉视频直播� When they香蕉视频直播檙e in Grade 6 and grade 7, screw the high school years, they香蕉视频直播檙e going to be more independent. When they香蕉视频直播檙e 12, 13, 14, that香蕉视频直播檚 when you really have to haul them in and be the most horrible parent you think you香蕉视频直播檙e going to be, but it香蕉视频直播檚 protecting your child. These gang people, they look for the vulnerable. The one kid. And they haul that one in. Trouble at home. Doesn香蕉视频直播檛 understand his parents. (The gangs) pull this one in, then he pulls that one in, then that one.香蕉视频直播�

Cheryl said she can香蕉视频直播檛 help but wonder if an anti-gang program for her son would have altered her son香蕉视频直播檚 path in life.

Such a program helped Surrey resident Ary Azez when he was in high school.

Now, the Surrey man is leading the expansion of an anti-gang program into eight Surrey elementary schools this fall.

Azez got involved in the YoBro YoGirl program at Kwantlen Park Secondary about five years ago, when he was in with the wrong crowd.

香蕉视频直播淲hen you have a close-knit community of friends, as soon as you have some external threat, even if it香蕉视频直播檚 not a real threat, everybody wants to act on it,香蕉视频直播� he added.

香蕉视频直播淭hat leads up to these little mini gangs without you even realizing it. Then at some point kids are forming real gangs香蕉视频直播�. Once you solidify yourselves, and you have a name, a neighbourhood you香蕉视频直播檙e trying to govern, at that point it becomes too much.香蕉视频直播�

Accidentally stumbling across some other kids practicing Jiu-Jitsu in the gymnasium after school one day in Grade 10 changed his life.

He soon invited his friends to join YoBro.

Some did, he said, and those people went on to graduate high school, then to post-secondary or working.

The ones that didn香蕉视频直播檛? Some have been killed. Others have overdosed on drugs.

香蕉视频直播淚t香蕉视频直播檚 just very common, unfortunately,香蕉视频直播� he said.

Azez has now come full circle, going from being a participant in the anti-gang program to becoming its current program facilitator, and is in his second year of university studying engineering.

Azez said the goal with the elementary students at eight Surrey schools this fall is to 香蕉视频直播減lant that seed香蕉视频直播� and 香蕉视频直播渂uild a connection香蕉视频直播� so when the kids enter high school, they know they have a safe place to go.

香蕉视频直播淲e香蕉视频直播檙e currently in our final stages of assessment as we try to figure out which schools need the program the most,香蕉视频直播� Azez told the Now-Leader on in mid-September.

香蕉视频直播淭hings should be ready within the next week or so.香蕉视频直播�

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It香蕉视频直播檚 important to reach kids early, said Azez, because kids are dying.

YoBro YoGirl founder Joe Calendino, who had a lifestyle or crime before creating the program in 2009, is an inspiration to Azez.

Though Azez been to police presentations at school, none of that took. It wasn香蕉视频直播檛 until he met Calendino that he saw a different way. Azez related to him.

香蕉视频直播淗e had to bury one of his students from a school just down the street. It was always very hard-hitting and close to home, his talks. It was always reoccurring as well, almost every couple weeks we香蕉视频直播檇 have to sit down and here something new from him. He would just sort of inform us, he didn香蕉视频直播檛 push it down our throats香蕉视频直播�. Knowledge was his way of deterring us away from everything but pulling us in with a fun program that doesn香蕉视频直播檛 feel like it香蕉视频直播檚 a chore.

香蕉视频直播淜ids need someone who香蕉视频直播檚 lived their life and been down that road. That was the changing point for us. We looked up to him.香蕉视频直播�

And that, said Azez, is the key to the program香蕉视频直播檚 success.

But it香蕉视频直播檚 a tough job.

Some schools are more challenging than others, he revealed, with many at-risk youth already sliding down the slippery slope of crime.

香蕉视频直播淎t that point it香蕉视频直播檚 like a salvage job. You香蕉视频直播檙e trying to save who you can,香蕉视频直播� Azez said slowly.

香蕉视频直播淵ou start small and you hope it grows. Even if you help one person, it means the world to that one person and their family.香蕉视频直播�

Azez said the program香蕉视频直播檚 biggest challenge is not being able to help all those who ask for it, with requests coming in from other provinces, such as Alberta and Ontario.

香蕉视频直播淏ut we香蕉视频直播檙e doing what we can,香蕉视频直播� he added.

香蕉视频直播淲e香蕉视频直播檙e helping the people that are closest to us.香蕉视频直播�

Surrey, for one.

香蕉视频直播淪urrey, unfortunately, the way things have been going for the past few years and perhaps more, it香蕉视频直播檚 going downhill. Whether you look at drug use, even murders.

香蕉视频直播淏ack in 2015 when there was 22 shootings in Surrey in six weeks, you open the news article and then you see a face and think, 香蕉视频直播楬ey I know that guy.香蕉视频直播� I knew the guy. I wasn香蕉视频直播檛 expecting it to be somebody I know, these are kids who are 18, 19, and their mug shots are on the news.

香蕉视频直播淎t that point, it really kicked in what my program stands for. We香蕉视频直播檙e trying to avoid all of this.香蕉视频直播�

amy.reid@surreynowleader.com
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