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㽶ƵֱHe just wanted to be accepted㽶Ƶֱ: Okanagan mother opens up about son㽶Ƶֱs fatal overdose

Judgment toward those with mental health challenges needs to stop, says West Kelowna mother
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Lisa Jilg is pictured at her store with signs requesting the donation of items for those struggling with mental health challenges, and those experiencing homelessness. (Contributed)

It㽶Ƶֱs been 503 days since Lisa Jilg said goodbye to her son Travis Thacker, but time, as well as the judgment from others, has done little to soothe the pain.

For the West Kelowna mother, it㽶Ƶֱs how her son went that remains the toughest part.

㽶ƵֱSo much fighting just to lose him㽶Ƶֱ

When Thacker turned 21, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia. However, it took years for their family to find him the right medication. While living at home, he would do well. However, Jilg explained, when he visited with his friends, he would sometimes dabble in drugs.

㽶ƵֱTen months before I lost my son 㽶Ƶֱ and he overdosed, and I was out of town. I found him, and I was able to bring him back to life,㽶Ƶֱ said the mother.

Thacker was on life support for three weeks, during which time some recommended Jilg take him off and let him go. Miraculously, he came out of it 㽶Ƶֱperfect㽶Ƶֱ with no lasting side effects.

Jilg and her family moved to West Kelowna to pursue a business opportunity, launching what is now Got Phones N㽶Ƶֱ Repairs Ltd.

Four days after arriving in the Okanagan, 29-year-old Thacker visited a friend, and shortly after, Jilg received a call saying her son had overdosed again. The two had bought cocaine together, which was laced with fentanyl.

㽶ƵֱWhen I went to the hospital, I think I was just in shock, but I think I knew that it was different this time. They kept telling me that there was too much brain damage for him to come out of this one.㽶Ƶֱ

After three days in the hospital, Jilg took her son off life support. Thacker died on Oct. 17, 2019, with his mother at his side.

㽶ƵֱHe was my sidekick㽶Ƶֱ he was my soul mate. So much fighting just to lose him.㽶Ƶֱ

West Kelowna’s Travis Thacker died of an overdose on October 17, 2019. (Contributed)
West Kelowna㽶Ƶֱs Travis Thacker died of an overdose on October 17, 2019. (Contributed)

Despite having video footage of the man who sold them the laced drugs, Jilg said police told her an investigation was impossible due to a lack of evidence.

Deaths like this are happening in B.C. at an alarming rate. On March 2, a report published shows there were 165 fatal overdoses in the first month of 2021.

㽶ƵֱThey feel very alone when they are judged㽶Ƶֱ

When people find out how her son died, some are judgmental, Jilg says. This is a stigma she㽶Ƶֱs hoping to extinguish 㽶Ƶֱ alongside terms such as 㽶Ƶֱjunkies.㽶Ƶֱ

Jilg hopes the public can find empathy for those who struggle with mental health challenges.

㽶ƵֱPeople don㽶Ƶֱt understand that these are humans too and that they have parents that are grieving their loss㽶Ƶֱ the biggest part I hate is that they say drugs are a choice. And what they don㽶Ƶֱt realize is that 90 per cent of these people deal with a mental health issue. And if they㽶Ƶֱre not getting the proper care through mental health, then this is going to happen.

㽶ƵֱDrugs are inevitable. They want to feel comfortable, they want to feel like themselves again, and I know that was my son㽶Ƶֱs issue㽶Ƶֱ They feel very alone when they are judged the way that they are, and it㽶Ƶֱs a cause for more drugs.㽶Ƶֱ

She described her late son as brilliant and selfless, with the biggest heart.

㽶ƵֱNo matter what issues he had going on, laughter was his cure. He just wanted everybody to laugh and be happy. He just wanted to be accepted. That㽶Ƶֱs all he wanted.㽶Ƶֱ

After losing Thacker in 2019, Jilg went straight back to work, trying to keep her mind busy. It was only after talking with a woman who walked into her store that Jilg reached out to . There, she found support through women who had similar experiences.

A regular volunteer with Moms Stop The Harm, Jilg joins many other mothers in the fight to decriminalize drugs. All mothers in the group have lost children to a fentanyl overdose or have children who currently use.

The West Kelowna woman is trying her best to turn this tragic event into something positive and prevent other parents from going through what she did.

At her business, she collects donations from customers in the form of clothing and money, which helps fund mental health support groups. During the winter, she drives around town looking for cold people in need of a warm jacket or toque.

To contribute, get in touch with Jilg at her store, Got Phones N㽶Ƶֱ Repairs Ltd. Visit to donate, or for more info.

A painting of Lisa Jilg and her son, Travis Thacker. Thacker died of an overdose on October 17, 2019. (Contributed)
A painting of Lisa Jilg and her son, Travis Thacker. Thacker died of an overdose on October 17, 2019. (Contributed)

Do you have something to add to this story, or something else we should report on? Email: phil.mclachlan@kelownacapnews.com


 


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Phil McLachlan

About the Author: Phil McLachlan

Phil McLachlan is the editor at the Penticton Western News. He served as the reporter, and eventually editor of The Free Press newspaper in Fernie.
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